I still love my new job which by now is not really all that new. I still love everything about it.
I love walking in to a classroom and hearing 16 pre-schoolers say " Miss Karlina" as four or five of them run up to hug me. I love sitting down with them and just hearing them tell me stories. I love all the art work they make for me (which now proudly hangs in my office). I love that when they draw a picture of me, my arms and legs come out of my head (everytime i look at that i laugh). I love the look on their face when they finally "get" a something or write their name for the first time.
I love walking in to the baby room and just hanging out in there. The baby room is my hide out spot when everything gets to be too much. It is amazing what holding a baby can do.
I love walking in to the parent room and have 4 or 5 moms come over to me and offer me food. They are always trying to feed me. I love sitting in there with them and just hanging out.
I love the fact that even after working all day the dads still all show up every Monday night for class, earger and willing to learn.
I love my staff, i have an amazing, hard working, dedicated staff and i am very grateful for them. I love my boss, she really is the coolest boss i have ever had.
Like i said i love everything about my job even all the paperwork and the long hours. What i do not love is the hard, heart-breaking confidential stuff that brings me to my knees in a flood of tears. I wish i could tell you about it but i can't. I can not tell you the number of times that i have had to leave a meeting or walk out of the parent room in a hurry and lock myself in my office and just cry.
I can not believe that there really is this much injustice in this world. I know that no one said that life is fair but these families have been through so much they need a break. It breaks my heart that all i can do is offer them a hug and an ear to listen. I wish i could do more to help. Since our program is a little different then most school programs we are able to do more then most program but i still wish we can do more. I know there is only so much we can do but still i wish could do more.
The holidays are suppose to be a time for celebration but all i find myself doing is crying. I have be come an emotional wreck who barley sleeps. I find myself waking up at night worring or think about one of my families wishing i could do more. This is the problem with being a teacher no matter how hard you try you always become attach not just to the kids but to their whole family and after a little while they become your family as well and we all know how i feel about my family.
I know what you guys are thinking "now Karla you have done all you can" and" you can't save everyone". I know this and i am remind of this everytime i see these parents i am amazed by their strenght, even though their lives are falling apart and some really horrable stuff is going on i am amazed with the fact that they still come in to school everyday with a smile on their face.
I know that this is Caro's thing but still i think it fits: love is finding the courage to keep living.
Well now that i made everyone all sad and worried i hope you all have a good weekend.
Jual TDS Meter ( Total Dissolved Solids )
9 years ago
9 comments:
cant wait to see you in a few hours and give a big hug.
Awww Karla, the best part of who you are is that you do care. Sounds like there are some heartbreaking stories, but the fact that their stories touch your life is a special gift. Try not to get too down, people get through many struggles in life, it's great that you can be there to witness it all!
Besitos~
Suezette
Give yourself some credit girl, your kind heart is appreciated. I praise you for being a educator..there are not many people that could handle that job, I know I couldn't. Dios te bendiga.
Muchisimos carinos!
Don't be hard on yourself at all - seems you bring a lot of happiness in their lives as it is - just being there is doing something!!
Other than the hard ships - to have a job as joyful as you do - that's amazing. Some people live there whole lives trying to find a job they love - and i'm so happy you have found that.
Karla,
You have a huge heart. It's hard to leave work "at work" in your position. Hang in there.
Being a teacher in your situation is a little like being an emergency room doctor. You have to leave some of the pain at the office, and you have to keep places in your soul private, or else the magnitude of the sadness of others can eat you alive.
Be strong. Thank you for caring about kids.
Karla, you're such a caring person. And, believe it or not, I bet that the fact that you do care makes a lot of people in hard situations feel a little bit better. And, that, my friend, is helping. :)
Awww, jeez thanks ladies. I feel better about it now. I was a little downa nd frustrated on that day. Thank you for showing me a different way to see this situation.
Karla: I know how you feel. I feel teh same about the 7th graders that I teach @ the south side school. I am always eager to go there even though I use a chalkboard instead of an Elmo etc. It's amazing what we can do as teachers - u go girl! I know how you feel though when it hits you right to the heart about these confidential things. I have little kids actually tell me what's going on. Keep on doing this - you will see your difference.
Karla,
It is hard to turn your feelings off and on but you have to find a way to do it when you get home. Just know that you have done everything you could for that day but you always have tomorrow to start again. You are such a great person and you will always "feel" for the families that you work with. It is amazing what babies can do for you. When you feel that it is all too much for you, go hold a baby and all will seem right with the world again.
Take care and call me if you need to talk!
Post a Comment