Friday, August 19, 2005

THE STUPID JERK I'M OBSESSED WITH

Last night i was talking to Marissa about men among other things and after our conversation i remembered this poem.

THE STUPID JERK I’m OBSESSED WITH
by Maggie Estep

THE STUPID JERK I’m OBSSESED WITH
Stands so close
I can feel his breath on my neck
And smell the way he would smell
If we slept together
Because he is THE STUPID JERK I’m OBSSESED WITH
And that is his primary function in life
To be A STUPID JERK I CAN OBSESS OVER
And to talk to that dingy bimbette blonde
As if he really wanted to hear her
Manicures and pedicures and New Age Ritualistic Enema Cures
And, truth be told, he probably does want to hear about it
Because he is
THE STUPID JERK THAT I’M OBSESSED WITH
And he does anything he can to lend fuel to my fire
He makes a point
Of standing, looking over my shoulder
When I’m talking to the guy who adores me
And would bark like a dog and wave a strangers
If I asked him to bark like a dog and waves to strangers
But I can’t ask the guy to bark like a dog or impersonate
Any kind of animal at all
Cause I’m too busy
Looking at the way
THE STUPID JERK THAT I’M OBSESSED WITH
Has pants on
That perfectly define his well-shaped ass
To the point where I’m thoroughly frantic,
I’m just gonna go home
Stick my head in the oven
Overdose on nutmeg and aspirin or sit in the bathtub
Reading The Executioner’s Song
And being completely confounded by the fact that I can see
THE STUPID JERK THAT I’M OBSESSED WITH’S face
Defining itself in the peeling plaster of the wall
Grinning
And winking
And I start yelling: “ Hey, get the hell out of here, your’re just a figment of my overripe imagination, get a life and get out of my plaster and pass me the next painful situation please.”

But he keeps on grinning
And winking
He’s THE STUPID JERK THAT I’M OBSESSED WITH
And he’s mine
In my plaster
And franklyI COULDN’T BE HAPPIER.

18 comments:

Joanne said...

OH man. I liked that poem Karla! Does that mean I'm obsessed?! LOL, sometimes obsession is a good thing, no? Ay, I'm gonna shut up now before I get myself in trouble.

Karla said...

LOL...I don't know if that means that your obsessed. Yup you are right sometimes obession is a good thing. I mean it worked for Aventura...lol

The Grouchy One said...

Karla: Obsessionnnnnnnn was just on the radio while I was driving to work this morning. LOL. Aventura knew what they were talking about. ;)

Joanne: Yup, we both are locas. That's why we are friends ;)

Oh well, as for me... I can't help it. And wouldn't change any of the past. Well--except for the getting dissed part, of course. I'd rewrite that into a fairy tale so we could live happily ever after ;)

I like that story MUCH better. LOL

The Grouchy One said...

Oh yeah. I LOVE that poem, btw.
;)

Karla said...

singlegirl: Hey thanks for stopping by. I know how you feel :)

~^^~L*C~^^~ said...

Karla: will comment more later (at work actually working). But, you've been tagged, check my blog.

Karla said...

Marissa: LOL....that is so a sign. I like your version better also :)

Jerk Of All Trades 2.0 said...

Oh, so now I'm stupid!

Thanks Karla!

:(

Karla said...

J: LOL...no you are not stupid just think of it as a term of endearment. Damn now you know that i am obsessed with you....:)

Desiree said...

Yo! Did you read my email?

Nice poem!

I thought it was about J at first.

;)

Karla said...

Dez: Yup i sure did and i wrote you back. Check your email :)

Karla said...

soozie: Yup we sure do love them. By the way how are you feeling?

SoozieQ said...

ehh...it could be better...but i won't complain..did enuff of that on my blog. tee hee.

Joanne said...

daahsar - in my opinion, unless you're mother teresa, everyone has been a stupid jerk to someone at some point in their life. Maybe not on purpose or maybe quite on purpose. You may not know, they may not have even told you, but someone somewhere at some point thinks/thought that you were a stupid jerk... I know hard to believe, but I bet it's true. And, for the record, I mean you in the general sense, as in everyone, not you daahsar. ;-)

Lindsey said...

I gosh...back in high school I was totally like that over someone. Every once in awhile those feelings will creep in a bit if I start to kinda like a guy. Good poem.

CubanDiva said...

Okay can someone tell me about this song "obsession" that Grouchy keeps going on and on about??

CubanDiva said...

Oh and BTW...Obsession can make you do some CRAZZZZYYYY stuff! lol

Hau Nguyen said...


Am thuc va phong tiec nha nhang Qua Ngon

nha hang hai san ngon nhat tphcm
meo vat nau an hang ngay
dat tiec sinh nhat tai tphcm
dat tiec sinh nhat cho be tai tphcm
cach lam doi heo luoc ngon nhat
muc sot chua cay ngon tuyet
nha hang qua ngon la nha hang noi tieng an ngon o Sai Gon

Xem chi tiet tai nhahangquangon.com